For me one of the toughest times to have faith that God is in charge is when some one I care for is sick. I think this goes back to when I was a kid and my grandma was in hospital in intensive care. It was my birthday and I went to see her. I don't remember what birthday it was, what I do remember is a my nana lying on this bed connected to all sorts of machines one of them was a kind of a canister with water in it and a solitary bubble in it (some of my nurse friends care to explain to me what this was.) and the bracelet my mum made me wear that day. Soon after nana passed away. Since then I cannot bear hospitals. They smell anitiseptic and in my mind people who go there die. I rarely go to hospitals or doctors when anyone is sick and least of all when I am ill.
I cannot bear to see people who I love for sick, this is becasue there is nothing I can do for them, I am not in control of the situation. It is difficult for me to see the hand of God in such situations becasue my faith is obviusly not at that level. It is hard to watch a person struggle with a debilitating disease knowing that they may well not make it. I guess for me the lesson is to learn to see God's hand in such situations.
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